Ask the OT: How Do I Get My Older Baby to Want to be Worn?

In the OT world, “occupations” are any meaningful daily activities that people participate in. Some occupations are “co-occupations”, meaning they take multiple people to successfully engage. Parenting is full of co-occupations, and babywearing is one of them. For babywearing to be a positive and successful experience, both the parent and the child must be comfortable, supported, and willing to participate. But we’ve all encountered times our babies just don’t want to get in the carrier, and it can feel incredibly frustrating if you want or need them to be carried. So, what can we do as parents to turn this frustrating experience into a positive and successful co-occupation? Let’s look at some strategies!

The first and most important step in engaging in a co-occupation where the other participant (in this case - your baby) is having a hard time, is to make sure you’re capable of engaging in a positive way and providing more support. So if you see that they’re having a hard time and that it will be a difficult transition into the carrier:

• Pause
• Take a second to ground yourself
• Take a few deep breaths
• Unclench your jaw
• Relax your shoulders
• Focus on staying calm

The more relaxed and steady you can be, the easier it will be for them to calm down. When you both approach the carrier from a calm place, the chances are higher that you will turn this tough transition into a happy babywearing experience.

Start with the basics- Are they hungry? Do they need their diaper changed?

And then get deeper- Are they positioned well? Is their clothing sitting comfortably against their skin? Do they need a moment of connection and a hug from you before you put the carrier on?

And finally, one cause of frustration that parents often forget about as their baby gets older and more interested in the world around them- Were they ready for the transition? Maybe your baby was engaged in a task of their own. Then you walked over and abruptly scooped them up and away from their important business. Now they’re frustrated because they wanted to continue with what they were doing. Checking in on what they’re doing when deciding to put them in the carrier can be really helpful for a smoother and more successful transition. Maybe you can even carry over the activity they were engaged in and make babywearing more rewarding for them!

Were they playing with a small toy that could be easily held in the carrier? Let them hold it!

If your baby is eating solids, try offering safe snacks like meltable yogurt dots or puffs for them to enjoy in the carrier. Nurse them if you’re comfortable doing so, or offer a drink.

Make it fun for both of you! Add in singing, dancing, spinning, and being silly and engaging at the start of your attempt.

Go outside or do an interesting task so they have something to enjoy watching while you wear them.

If your little one is clearly signaling they do not want to be carried and you are able to put them down safely, put them down. It can feel sad for you as the parent if you were looking forward to carrying them, but remember that you both need to be willing to engage for babywearing to go well. 

As your baby grows, they will want more freedom and autonomy, and you are supporting their development by giving them that. Know that there will be other times when they really want to be carried, and that you have created a safe and warm space for them to seek comfort and connection by listening to and respecting their feelings as well as your own.

Above all, remember your “why” during frustrating moments! Yes, babywearing is useful and convenient and helps us get things done while caring for our child. But what really matters, and what drives the desire to babywear for many of us, is the connection, comfort, and closeness that babywearing fosters. 

Make those moments of connection the center of your babywearing experience, focus on the love you have for your child, and remember that the hard moments are few and far between compared to all of the wonderful memories you’ve made together with your carriers.