Overwhelmed? An OT's Tips for Parents to Tackle Overstimulation

As a parent, our sensory systems are constantly working and receiving much higher levels of sensory input than they were before having kids. Think about all of the new noises, smells, touch, and visual stimulation that having a newborn or toddler has brought into your life compared to before you had kids. No wonder so many parents experience overstimulation!

Parenting may not be the first time you’ve dealt with sensory overstimulation, but it might be the first time you haven’t had the capacity to deal with it because of less “you” time, less sleep, and less natural pockets of quiet and downtime. Add in less time to do things that fill your cup outside of parenthood, and it makes total sense that parents struggle with overstimulation and overwhelm.

Let’s look at some common sensory sources of negative sensory input and overstimulation while parenting:

1. Auditory input: crying, whining, meltdowns, repetitive noise from toys and playtime, and general increased volume and overlap of noise from having more people interacting in your space.

2. Visual input from extra clutter and messes such as piles of toys, more dishes in the sink, and bigger piles of laundry.

3. Touch input from breastfeeding, especially cluster feeding in the newborn stage, and toddlers crashing into and climbing all over you.

4. Vestibular input from constantly bending down, rocking, swaying, and big movements during playtime.

5. Interoceptive input: hunger cues, bathroom needs, thirst, and the need for rest that often get ignored or pushed off until later when they become so urgent you can’t ignore them.

Over time, all of this negative input builds up into overstimulation. It keeps our bodies in fight or flight mode, which leads to increased cortisol levels and a decline in wellness. 

When your body experiences overstimulation, you might feel things like agitation and restlessness, a lack of focus, anxiety or general feelings of unease and discomfort, or a hypersensitivity to sounds, touches, and smells.

You might find yourself snapping at your kids, picking fights with your spouse, yelling at the dog, or shutting down and avoiding socializing, leaving texts unanswered, and spending hours doom scrolling on your phone. 

You may find yourself engaging in negative self-talk or struggling with negative emotions when you do snap. Know that you are not a bad parent. There is nothing wrong with you if you are struggling with overstimulation.

• Schedule Less and Say “No” More: It can be tempting to pack our schedules full of activities and tasks. But that constantly growing to-do list and feelings of obligation to get everything done contribute to chronic overstimulation. Be purposeful about leaving days in your week that have lots of downtime or choose activities that aren’t time sensitive.

• Multi-task Less: It probably feels almost impossible to get things done without multi-tasking as a parent, especially if you have multiple kids. But multi-tasking is actually less efficient and puts more stress on your brain. When you can, choose to focus on one task at a time. Even if you can make this change for 1-2 tasks per day, the difference will add up to less overstimulation overall.

• Prioritize Self-Care and Quiet Time: Where can you take 5-15 minutes in your day to meet your own needs and give yourself time to reset? Maybe you wake up a little earlier or focus on rest and self-care during one of your child’s naps. If you have a toddler or older child, schedule in quiet time for the entire house every afternoon or early evening to avoid overstimulation for everyone.

• Name Your Emotions: When you do feel hard feelings like frustration, anxiety, or overstimulation, name them out loud. Modeling emotional awareness is a powerful tool to help your children learn regulation skills, and identifying your feelings in real time is the first step to regulating yourself.

• Seek out Positive Input: Just as there is negative input that leads to overstimulation, there is also a lot of opportunity for positive sensory input to help fill your cup. These positive experiences could be listening to your favorite music, hugging your kids or spouse, exercising, eating foods that make you happy, and spending time outside.

Embrace opportunities for positive input and use these as tools for days you’re feeling too much overstimulation to help create balance. 

Luckily, babywearing can help manage overstimulation in parents.

1. Babywearing provides deep pressure input from the weight of the carrier and the feeling of your baby against your body. This is calming for our nervous systems and can counteract feelings of overstimulation and being touched out.

2. Babywearing boosts oxytocin, which can help lower cortisol levels, regulate stress, and improve sleep.

3. Babywearing can reduce negative sensory input by decreasing environmental noise and movement, since your little one is less likely to cry or whine when being carried. Also, their movements are calmer and more controlled when in a carrier, leading to less visual overstimulation for you.

4. Babywearing can allow you to engage in meaningful tasks with fewer interruptions and can help you get things done with less mental fatigue since you know your baby is safe, happy, and close to you.

It’s true: sometimes the act of babywearing itself can contribute to feelings of sensory overstimulation if your child is wiggly, fussy, or doing things like pulling your hair. Some tips for decreasing overstimulation while babywearing:

• Put them on your back. If you have a carrier that allows for safely carrying your baby on your back at their current developmental stage, back carrying can decrease overstimulation because even if they’re wiggling or fussing, they’re not right in your face while they do it.

• Put your hair up and offer them a small toy to play with to redirect if they’re pulling your hair.

• Get some movement in and go outside. Fresh air and gentle movement like walking or dancing is a great mood booster and a source of positive input for both of you that can help you co-regulate and reduce overstimulation.

And if you try those tips and you’re still experiencing overstimulation while babywearing to the point of having an outburst or a meltdown, take them out of the carrier. Sometimes the right answer is to put them down in a safe place, walk away, and take a minute or two for yourself to have a sip of water, call a friend, or take some deep breaths.

Parenting is a hard job, and overstimulation is a common issue. By taking care of yourself and engaging in purposeful daily strategies to protect your nervous system, you’re helping yourself and your children by showing up as the best version of yourself possible.