What is EMDR and How Can it Help New Parents’ Mental Health?

“I thought I had gotten over that traumatic experience, but now that I’m becoming a parent, it’s all coming back to me.”

“I’ve tried talk therapy and it was helpful, but the trauma is still ‘stuck’ in my body.”

“I’ve learned lots of coping skills, but there’s still something deeper going on.”

“I know, logically, that I’m safe/capable/loved/etc. but I don’t FEEL as if that’s true.”

These are some of the most common phrases I hear spoken by folks who inquire about beginning therapy in my practice. 

These phrases spark in me:

1. Deep compassion,
2. Immense gratitude for the tools that are available for me to offer, and
3. Excitement and eagerness to help them get into the deeper healing work that their mind-body systems are so clearly driving them toward.

As a psychotherapist specialized in addressing the intersections of trauma and perinatal (prenatal/postpartum/early parenthood) mental health, I work with many expectant and new parents who are noticing that navigating the early seasons of parenthood with chronically-overwhelmed nervous systems is blocking them from the joy they hoped to encounter in this life chapter. 

I consistently find that a trauma-informed, nervous system-based approach to therapy creates a significant shift in a person’s parenting journey. Eye movement desensitization and reprocessing (EMDR) is a mind-body approach designed to help steady a person’s nervous system after upsetting experiences. Rooted in the concept of Adaptive Information Processing (AIP), EMDR’s framework suggests that each person’s history of distressing experiences (both “obvious” traumatic events, like war, and “smaller” upsetting experiences, like a hurtful comment from a loved one) can become stored in the brain in ways that are unhelpful, resulting in negative core beliefs about one’s self, difficulty feeling safe enough to rest, relax, and be grounded in the present, and persistent mental health issues such as depression, anxiety, and relationship difficulties, as well as physical issues that accompany mental distress. 

EMDR incorporates bilateral stimulation (back and forth motion between both sides of the body - traditionally done in the form of eye movements, as referenced in the name) while the client notices what happens in their mind and body when focusing on an upsetting memory, emotional or sensory triggers, or fears about the future. 

The movement mimics what our bodies naturally do when figuring out how to sort through our life experiences in ways that are helpful and adaptive. EMDR is holistic in that it invites clients to notice the fullness of their experience with a trigger/memory/fear about the future - the thoughts, beliefs, mental images, emotions, and bodily sensations. These exercises help a person’s mind-body system learn that it can experience safety and be grounded in the present moment, even when reminded of those upsetting past or possible future events. 

The EMDR process also includes “resourcing” exercises that help clients use their senses, values, strengths, real-life experiences, and imaginations to create an internal toolkit of coping, relaxation, self-empowerment, and confidence-boosting skills. 

Founded in the 1980s by psychologist Dr. Francine Shapiro, the EMDR standard protocol was originally used to address trauma, and is considered a gold standard treatment for PTSD. However, as the mental health field has continued to explore the use of EMDR, it’s been found to provide a powerful and flexible set of tools to address a variety of mental health conditions, even when symptoms don’t match a PTSD diagnosis. 

As a certified EMDR therapist, I honor both the value of Dr. Shapiro’s work in developing a formal structure for this type of therapy, AND the reality that many concepts and elements of EMDR are healing practices that have been used by ancestors in various cultures throughout the world.

Pregnancy, childbirth, the postpartum period, and the early years of parenthood are emotionally intense by design. As the foundation of a young child’s nervous system is developed prenatally through toddlerhood, a new parent’s nervous system also becomes extra sensitive during these stages as the parent’s brain physically shifts to adapt to this special new role.

Sensory overload, high stress levels, self-doubt, and anxiety are common challenges faced while navigating the perinatal period. The resourcing components of EMDR therapy support parents with coping skills that involve the mind-body system holistically; the whole family unit benefits when you as the parent are more connected to your strengths and intuition, more comfortable in your body, and more adept at calming and empowering yourself while caring for your baby.

For many, the process of entering and adjusting to early parenthood highlights unhealed emotional wounds and lifts them to the surface and into daily life in the form of mental, physical, and relational health issues. 

The newness, chaos, responsibility, lifestyle/routine change, decreased sense of control, pressure to be perfect, concern about your child’s life path and wellbeing, and - for birthing people - drastic bodily changes can all be triggers that remind your mind-body system of and ignite pain from seemingly unrelated past experiences and can spark new fears about the future. And upsetting experiences that occur during the perinatal period (for example, fertility challenges, pregnancy difficulties, birth trauma, prenatal and postpartum mood and anxiety disorders, etc.) can create new trauma on top of the old wounds.

For these reasons, I bring EMDR therapy into my work with new parents to support them in discovering and healing from the root issues that have blocked them from feeling peace in parenthood. Transforming into a parent is a magical developmental milestone, and this transformation presents us with special opportunities to be liberated from the effects of trauma and become peace-filled, values-led nurturers of ourselves, one another, and our little ones.